Let me be the first to say that planning a wedding is not what I thought it was going to be.
I’ve watched movies as a young girl where women go from dress shop to dress shop with a beaming smile on their face in search of their perfect dress! I’ve watched as these women get manicures and pedicures every month to relax from all the “hustle and bustle” of their glorious wedding planning. I have watched as women discuss all the tasting’s they get to go to for the cake, dinner, and dessert’s!
Let’s just be real, planning a wedding sucks.
Well, not fully, but that’s explained later.
After searching two bridal stores in a distant city and trying on 13 other dresses, yes, I did find my perfect dress, but here’s the thing – it took forever. Taking off your clothes and putting on a heavy thick dress thirteen different times makes you sweat! I mean, can we all just be honest here? The moment of finding our perfect dress really is magical, but so is my mood by the end of the day.
So, you pull on that perfect dress, zip up, lace up, or pin up, and look in the mirror. *Ahhhhh* I hear the angel’s singing from above and light’s shining down from heaven! The search is over! You turn to your loving friend’s who are trudging through this day with you and celebrate with screeches, hugs, and tears. You walk out of that bridal shop with a weight lifted off your chest and a emptier bank account then you would’ve hoped for.
I know it seems like I am being a bit of a debbie-downer here, but I really did love shopping for my dress – I just wish people were more open about the reality of it.
I cannot tell you how many people are coming up to me with bright, wide eyes, and smiles from ear to ear asking me how excited I am for the wedding. Pretty much everyone I run into. Which, granted, I am a bride to be, but I wasn’t prepared for all of the pieces it takes to put this puzzle together.
There are a lot of people involved in planning a wedding. There are mom’s, dad’s, grandmother’s, sibling’s, friend’s, best friend’s, and all of the extended family that you see once every five years or so.
So when you come from a family like mine, the dysfunctional, broken, and baggage filled family, and mix it with your fiancé’s all american, picture perfect family, there is expectations that are to be met – spoken and unspoken.
Don’t even get me started on the stress eating subject, yikes. Like, am I the only one who look’s at food and gain’s five pound’s? Then there is the cake tasting. Yet, I am suppose to fit in my dress in July – insert eye roll.
The issue at hand here is that I am a people pleaser. If my opinion or thought’s are different then from a person I love or cherish, I am convicted and bend to their wishes. Can you imagine doing this while you are planning a wedding? I mean, c’mon. I know your thinking, “Well that’s your personality, your problem not their’s.”, and yes, you’re right. It is my problem, but trying to juggle the reality of wedding planning, family pleasing, healthy communicating, steady breathing, and a surviving bank account is flat out difficult.
I have learned so much during wedding planning. I have learned that wedding’s are not only harder to plan then I thought, but that they are way over rated. I can’t wait for my wedding day, yes, but that is because I can’t wait to start my life with my husband.
What I am excited for is waking up next to him every morning and making coffee and egg’s together. I am excited to start our own routine and learn how to balance the two of our personalities in one home. I see the big picture, not the big day.
I have learned that I need to set boundaries with myself, and with others. I need to be honest with myself and communicate how I am feeling, even if it might hurt someone else’s feeling’s. I learned that I can’t control everything and that everything will be worked out anyway. I learned that it is not selfish to have a different view then someone else’s in regard’s to your wedding, the day is suppose to be about you, not their hidden agenda’s. I learned that we are all only human, and that we are always going to act like that – just human.
So. Wedding season.
Not a fan, but I am grateful for all of the experiences that I have had as I continue down this road. I am grateful for a man that loves me enough to put me through a season like this, not all women are fortunate enough to find a man like I have. And I am thankful for all of the growing opportunities that I have come into contact with in the last five months.
One month to go.
Breathe with me.