Being A Dreamer

I have not yet quite figured out if being a dreamer is a blessing or a curse. I am not just referring to having aspirations of going to college or getting your dream job. Although those things are valid aspirations and dreams, I am referencing to something different.

What if you have this fire in your soul, this passion, this assurance in your heart. What if you feel that you will make a difference?

I wonder if Martin Luther King Jr. felt something similar before he changed the world and it’s history, or what about Helen Keller, did she feel something similar? Were they scared to move forward and pursue their passion? Most likely. Did they put their fear’s to the side and choose their passion anyway? Absolutely.

I think what is in common here is that these feeling’s came naturally to them. They were taunted by the world, and their lives were difficult, but they knew deep down inside that they could change the trajectory of something if they just gave in to these passion’s in their heart.

There is that saying, you know that one that says acquiring knowledge is power, well sometimes I feel the opposite. What if you acquire this knowledge and cannot do anything with it? What if you are 100% motivated to pursue your passion, your calling, but you continue to hit a brick wall?

I see it as two choices.

One, you can try to climb over the said brick wall but continue to fail and thus end up kicking and screaming because of frustration.

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Two, you can look at that brick wall with confidence that you will indeed get to the other side, even if that mean’s waiting out your current season.

The question still stands. Would you rather struggle with finding out your passion later in life, or would you rather find out your calling earlier in life and have to be patient and wait it out, putting in the work during your growing season’s?

Personally, I’ve been granted with the latter, and I am quite grateful.

It has been a difficult journey. I live in a world where status is everything, where genuine people are scarce, where insecurities trump personalities. What would you do if you were given the eye’s to see this? Would you run, overwhelmed? Would you turn into another person who just fill’s their life with being busy so they don’t have to focus on what’s in front of them? Would you stay distracted?

I’ve tried it all. 

Conviction’s weight is faster then I can run. My eye’s cannot forget what they have seen. My ear’s cannot forget what they have heard. My life cannot forget it’s experiences.

For some, memories turn into surfaced emotion, and some emotion is too much to hold, which gives way to repression.

For other’s, memories turn into healing opportunities, reaching out, forgiving, loving, serving, growing.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
    he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
    and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.”

Isaiah 61:1, ESV

I have felt the brokenness.

I have seen heart ache.

I have watched people be slaves to their own selves.

That will not be in vain.

I choose passion.

I choose my passion.

I choose to push through every hard season until I get to the one where I am ready to run to those who are captives by their own brokenness, to let them know that life doesn’t have to be broken – that it could be beautiful.

I choose to invest in my future by nourishing my passion now, by continuing to write, by intentional relationship’s, by practicing in my season’s of trial now, by continuing to be vulnerable – even when it hurts.

I choose to step out of my comfort zone and pursue the lost and broken hearted, because many choose not to.

Being a dreamer is never easy, but it is always necessary.


T.

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